There is a place.

A space. 

Between droplets of years shouting that you can’t and your minds bad advice. 

Look there. In the breath of the breaths.

Who is breathing? 

Who is carrying you through the days of bricks falling on your shoulders?

Stop listening to the tales of yesterday and the stories of tomorrow.

Why are you still listening at all my friend?

Have you not grown tired of being right or wrong or anything at all?

Show me the space you are telling me about.

It escapes me every time I look. 

Now stop looking for signs of the universe 

You are she and she is you

N-C Seeger

Wow, wow & wow! Even as I am writing this I can feel the black and white. The light and dark. Literally! My physical, emotional and energetic self ache from the inner work I have grown through in the past months. As a family, we have grown miles it feels like. Epic revaluation about life, purpose, intent, love and passion. 

Everyday, something new arises, waiting to be taking seriously, felt and reflected upon.

As I took my daughter to school this morning, scooter riding through the ricefields, narrow winding roads passing villages and the buzzing city of Ubud, I found myself in a state of wonder, confusion and flux. The mirror that looked back at me at that moment felt almost unreal.

I took in the sweetness of the Balinese children playing on the streets, flying kites, chasing dogs or chickens. As I lifted my gaze to let the early morning sun warm my face and with it melting away any tension and stress, the wind gently blowing through my hair and I sensed everything moving further and further away. Expectations, ideals, questions, answers, past and present. It all seized to be in that moment.

Until…..I saw men and children stabbing a hog to death. In the middle of the street. Right in front of me. I was in complete and utter shock. Joy and laughter filled the air as they ramed the knife deeper.  A gutteral cry of the animal cut through the air, that now smelt like smoke, death and betrayal. The huge pig dropped to the ground, rolled to the side. That was it! 

I felt my heart beating out of my chest and tried to scream but every ounce of my voice was gone. All I could do was cry. An emptiness filled my soul, that two minutes ago was full of gratitude, joy and laughter.

When innocent, beautiful, smart animals are hurt, I die with them. 

Quickly I sent prayers of mercy and love out into the universe as I tried to keep it together, on the scooter. I wept silently, as I pondered life and it’s value. 

And again: here I was in the middle of stark contrast that Bali offeres so eloquently on every street corner, rice field, temple, villa, waterfall, beach, warung, yoga studio or village.

Bali, oh Bali! I love you so, you have forever stolen my heart. But when and where can we move on up and into a higher state of consciousness, where the connection is made?  The connection of life and value? Loving kindness and oneness?

When can we stop hurting, torturing and exploiting animals: may it be for money, pleasure, gaming, ceremonial sacrifice, food, power….?

When can we connect the dots and see that all life is valuable and needs to be honored, appreciated and protected?

When can we stop poisoning the rivers, oceans and all waters with trash, plastic and debris? Water is life and therefore sacred.

It doesn’t stop here. 

Mother Bali has her way. She is the Island of Gods, of light and dark. The contrast is so evident here, it’s almost unbelievable. 

Everything that resides in the three dimensional, moves on Bali time and has its own agenda. 

Everything involving energy, creation, manifestation and inspiration moves in 5 dimensional time or higher.

It’s mind boggling! 

Bring it on, say the yogis self proclaimed enlightened warriors, sages and light beings that seek salvation here. And, they are met with growth. Instant, that is. 

Who enters this ever so power filled space with an open mind and heart, as my yoga teacher and Bali Priestess Luh Manis puts it, is met with unmeasurable insight and opportunity for growth. 

The one who just comes for vacation is met with a different kind of Bali. One that halts and stumbles and doesn’t let you see the true flavor and purpose of her deep and unraveling nature.

Mother Bali is it all, if you are ready for her.
#bali #ubud #selfrealization #wakeup #yoga #spirituality #consciousliving #innerwork #pachamama #balipriestess #journey #wisdomkeeper #truecolors  

– John O’Donohue, from “Anam Cara”
May your body be blessed.

May you realize that your body is a faithful

and beautiful friend of your soul.

And may you be peaceful and joyful

and recognize that your senses

are sacred thresholds.

May you realize that holiness is

mindful, gazing, feeling, hearing, and touching.

May your senses gather you and bring you home.

May your senses always enable you to

celebrate the universe and the mystery

and possibilities in your presence here.

May the Eros of the Earth bless you.

#bali #poetry #dailyinspiration #dailyquotes #wisewords #lessismore #countyourblessings #practisegratitude #loveyourlife #alivelivedfromtheheart #heartandsoul

Well well, we have moved from the sleepy and laid back west coast of Bali to Ubud. 

We so enjoyed our time here: the people and their community, the places we got to see, the food, the weather. I mean, it doesn’t take much to fall in love with Bali.

We were fortunate enough to first experience the real Bali, far away and removed from the commercial influx and penetration of western conveniences. To rest and relax in that manner was such a gift.

Coming to Ubud though felt like coming home for me personally. The vibe is just so different. If you are an empath or even remotely sensitive to energy, you’ll feel your way through Bali.

Of course I could talk about all the things you can do here for five blogposts and a half, but there are enough gorgeous blogs out there that just do that.

For us this journey was about letting go of the ego mind that wants to control everything’s and drive us from one tourist spot to another to finally cross them all off our bucketlist. For us this is about finding the sweet spot, the balance in between doing stuff, visiting places and just being in the energy and doing our inner work. 

The richness of the yoga community, spiritual tribe and all over motherly loving supportive energy is so evident here.

And then there is the food. I mean, for a vegan raw foodie, this is heaven. We are not quite there yet, but even as gluten sensitive vegetarians we have ample, amazing options.

From cool organic, modern Smoothie Bowl heaven, infused with a bit of spicy Chai coupled with rare and inspiring raw food combos are taste heaven for all senses.

Ubud lies in the heart of Bali and beats to a  throbbing, divinely feminine drum. The fact that Bali retained its unique identity and resisted for the most part the commercialization and homogenization  shows how strong the bond to their unique form of Balinese Hindu religion, called Agama Hindu Dharma really is.

The Balinese are deeply connected through their daily obligations to their families, community, ancestors and gods. 

I love riding the scooter through the little rice paddy alleyways early in the morning and being completely engulfed in the aroma of sweet inscense while listening to Gus Teja, Ubud’s very own world renowned flute maestro. His music truly represents Bali’s heartbeat. 

Finding a healthy balance of inner work, outer work, rest and spending time exploring and cherishing all the island has to offer has been an inspiring experience for all of us thus far.

Personally I enjoy a combo of sound healing like the Crystal bowl, Koshi and Devine 24k gold grail bowl healing with Swami Arun at Yoga Barn and the sound healing session at New and Full moon at Pyramids of Chi. Meditating in a pyramid while being bathed with ancient sounds of the gong, Tibetan bowls, Koshi etc. it really doesn’t get any better.

Having said that, it is just as important to integrate the inner work and healing that a session like that involves. Rest, plenty of water, journaling, meditation brings the new energies in slowly and mindfully.

I can’t wait what tomorrow brings, but for now it’s time for some z’s here. 

Namaste 🙏🏼 

Nicole

There is a great need of that human psyche of ours and that sits and breathes and lives with the need to evolve and to literally become more.

But…how do we grow? How do we live in a world that’s so poisoned and betrayed and not numb ourselves in order to stop feeling the pain?

How do we measure our own life against that of a third world child starving?

Where do we begin?

Life evolves us, if we want it or not.

The question is: What do we do to stifle it or turn our back to the evident mechanism of being human and being in form and constantly shifting within that frame?

Our society gives us a free pass on how to NOT deal with our pain and shadow.

Shadow happens always when growth happens. Before we take another leap and enter a growth spurt, we have to go through the dark night of the soul and face our shadows.

We are asked to use all of our senses to fully embody this painful and spirit tethering lesson. To feel, smell, taste, touch our experience with our full attention.

So, since that brings up big ouchies and our conditioning mixed with the community we were raised in and the culture we grow up with lets us to believe that we simply can not.

We go on to meditate, build a practice, a daily routine, join a sangha, even make it our life’s mission to be spiritually attuned…..to avoid.

To avoid and escape the painful reality of beingness. Because being human is painful!

Ayahuaska has become such a popular choice. The sacred plant that takes all of our troubles, traumas, interrelational issues and pain away while we are in an altered state or so we hope.

But…”I just want to be enlightened!” “I want to be free and be positive and happy and….”

Well, it simply ain’t like that. With the light comes the shadow. Stars can only shine in darkness and if we wish to grow we might as well embrace the darkness that comes before the light.

There is great liberation that comes with surrender to this universal truth.

Mediation practice and any other spiritual practice is needed and an intricate part of living, as long as it helps us instill mindfulness where it is hard for us to be mindful. It shows is how to trust ourselves and reduce reactivity. It helps us not to escape, but yet to go in and feel and sit with that feeling.

Yet, the really hard stuff doesn’t show up during meditation. It shows up in our relationships. Bam!

How we are in the world and with our loved ones, how we grieve and how we are when we are alone, how we manage stress and even elation. How we manipulate our own path because of the pain, grief and sorrow that hasn’t been expressed and heard.

If it has simply been observed or witnessed and therefore disassociated from, the pain and trauma live on within us. They have nowhere to go but inside, forming our personalities and characters and stopping us from living and breathing life in full bloom. Constantly reliving the imprint of our conditioning and unheard and felt trauma.

Life asks us to send our meditative awareness back into our relationship matrix. Everyday and in every way we interact with ourselves and the world around us.

Here we stop numbing through our meditative state of non-thinking and start to fully embody the richness of the lesson and begin to sense all corners of the threshold. We ground our senses in feeling everything what wants to be felt.

There and then the pain eases, the light enters and we can heal the wounds of separation and our unloved parts can grow to be whole again.

Our hearts open, our mind rests and on we go releasing the traumatic imprint.

Yay to being here now and living during these tremendously volatile times.

To open our hearts and soften to the ebb and flow of this beautiful existence.
Namaste

Nicole

It’s in the present moment you find the courage. The way of the ways.

Where you make the connection of you and me and everything that holds the string of the manifestested, connecting back to the source of it all.

The light that moves within each and everyone to remind us of the douality that is created only here and seizes to exist beyond form, where all melts into one and love is life.

The war inside, it disappears and crumbles when you sit to listen.

Releasing all strings to the past and not grasping the future, here we are now in this one and only moment in time.

Here it lies, the miracle of it all.

As my hand moves over my cheek in a half wake, half drunken state of inconceivable sadness, I notice the wetness that my tears left behind. A gentle reminder of that very fleeting moment.

We are here in this only moment, to remember that it’s all there is.

So, as the community of communities. Loving and gentle, weaving together the pieces of misunderstanding and perceived realities that hang on to no threat, let’s breathe through each nostril the life that holds us all together. 

The form, the dharma, the teaching, the breath. Let’s weave it all into one.

Gate Gate Paragate! Parasamgate! Bodhi Svaha! 

Prajña Heart Sutra

In Remembrance and gratitude to a great teacher and human being 

by Nicole C. Seeger

Thank you Michael Stone

Here is the official statement that was realeased regarding Michael’s sudden passing 

When I met Michael last year during an evening retreat in Vancouver, he left such an impact on me with his sincere and accurate teachings.

The combination of Buddhism, Yoga and activism he shared was a heart opening and deepening experience I will be grateful forever. I was completely unaware with his struggles of bi-polar disease.

I’m in both shock and disbelief that such a great soul left this world so soon.

My heart goes out to his family and community that has spread all over the world

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
When actions come from another section, the feeling disappears.  

Don’t let others lead you. They may be blind or, worse, vultures.
Reach for the rope of God. And what is that? Putting aside self-will.
Because of willfulness people sit in jail, the trapped bird’s wings are tied, fish sizzle in the skillet.

The anger of police is willfulness. You’ve seen a magistrate inflict visible punishment.  

Now see the invisible. If you could leave your selfishness, you would see how you’ve been torturing your soul. We are born and live inside black water in a well.

How could we know what an open field of sunlight is? 
Don’t insist on going where you think you want to go. Ask the way to the spring. Your living pieces will form a harmony.  
There is a moving palace that floats in the air with balconies and clear water flowing through, infinity everywhere, yet contained under a single tent.

When we decided to leave our western structured 9-5 lifestyle behind, we had a rough plan or so we thought. It was about combining world schooling with traveling and giving back. 

Life has a funny way of showing us what’s important though. I get a chuckle out of our own purposely planned first week in crazy busy environments, only to launch ourselves off to one of the most remote and far away places in south east Asia. The old Bali from 30 years ago.

I guess deep down we knew that we needed to commit to resting first and foremost after all that stress we put ourselves through. Oh dear growth spurts, you are welcome to take a break.

Life unfolds when you’re busy making other plans anyway, so why not chill and let it flow?!

It was exhausting, that life we left behind.

Obligations, schedules, rules and regulations, routines and must do’s and haves….its an endless list. Just before I left, my naturopath diagnosed me with adrenal exhaustion among other health hiccups. Since then I have educated myself on the subject and made the not so surprising discovery that about 80% of western civilization suffers from the very same thing that made me say: Enough is enough!

I have left the 9-5 workforce 10 years ago, yes I have worked a bit here and there, but my kids were always priority and with that a new definition of work. Being there for my small kids 24/7 also took its toll.

I’m fortunate to have an engaged and caring hubby, who let me off the hook quite a bit. Yet, the last 8 years have left a deep imprint on my physical, emotional and mental body.

Turns out our kids were tired out as well.

Even in them I could see how their schooldays coupled with activities, playdates and an endles list of to do’s grew them weary.

Often I heard Aviana’s words echoing: “Mommy, why do we always hurry? Why do we need to run? Why are we late?”

Raphael in the other hand freaked out about being late, not good enough and always being in a rush.

Be still my heart as I weep. It took me a while to figure it out. She mirrored my inner wise woman while Raphael scared the crap out of me when he grew more and more anxious about completing demands and perfecting himself. He lived my inner most fear right in front of my eyes. 

Internally,  gut wrenching guilt overcame me on a regular basis. If I could only make the days longer and the nights shorter. Everything in me churned and finally I gave up. The constant drive to dot all the i’s and to cross all the t’s. 

I was tired and exasperated and my body spoke for it.

Just being on Bali for 8 days I forget about the time of day, the day, the week and yes even the year. 

We are timeless beings pressed into a cookie cutter form of everything that emprisons us and slowly but surely conditiones us into robots, producing results for the top 2% watching and working us like marionettes.

I never forget that single moment, when I realized that I was just as part of that as anyone else: it was an earth shattering wake up call.

And then there is the entitlement. Entitlement to have a first class education, healthcare, perfectly grown organic food, clean water….you get the picture!

I mean, take the fish out of water: that unknown environment. Everything is different, everyday. You can’t help but grow and wonder and grow a bunch of gratitude.

The Balinese got it down pat when it comes to practicing gratitude in every day life. Offerings, praise and prayers. 

Life isn’t so much about getter richer, having bigger houses and a fancier ride, it is more about becoming a better human being! It’s about community. After all, it does take a village, doesn’t it?

Reciprocity is a big part of life on the island of Gods.

Life shows up in a whole different way when you live life that way.

Every day, one of the resorts employees, Juni, leaves a fresh offering at our doorstep.

It represents her gratitude for us being here and therefore helping to her feed herself and her family.

I feel extremely humbled to be able to spend time here with my family.

Here is to the simple life, to chasing sunsets and climbing mountains. To loving life moment by moment and growing stronger wings and braver hearts!

Namaste 🙏🏼 

The moment you arrive on this beautiful island you sence that you’ve stepped into a world of wonder, mysticism and magic. 

Bali is very sacred spiritually, globally, energetically. It is palpable. Everywhere. 

Sweet inscence mixed with different smells of street food, fragrant plumeria flowers laying at your feet and the view of seemingly endless ricefields are just some of the first captured impressions.

But…..don’t be mistaken: although Bali is a tourist hub for travelers from all over the world and I’m sure that the Balinese are profiting from the increased visitors, it is still a very poor Island and one of the poorest part of South East Asia. That is just one of the reasons I can’t yet quite fathom the unconditionally kindness and care you are met with here. 

The smallest children with the biggest smiles, the elderly walking slowing and carefully nodding as you walk or ride by. 

Our resort staff is the reason that makes this Place so special. Here at Sahaja Sawah everyone is family. It’s also a non profit resort, where everything goes back to the people and the village.

You immediately feel like you are held and supported in whatever you do. 

Yet, my mind is in constant flux. I’m questioning and trying to analyze my experience so far and to put things into categories and boxes that simply don’t fit. To keep it simple and short: my conditioned western mind is in full force. 

It’s a big lesson on surrender. We as a culture are so used to always keeping busy and being stressed has become our second skin.

Whoa, does it ever become apparent here. 

Bali is known to bring it all out: the good, the bad, the ugly.

If you want to learn how to embrace all contrast without judging every move your mind makes while mastering your scooter skills (yes this deserves mentioning), then come and spend time on Bali!

Aside from that I’ve learned that peppermint oil works it’s magic to keep cochroaches out, lavender oil cures itchy insect bites and lizards in the villa are a very good thing. I’ve also let go when a bat made it into our bedroom.

The daily rain that has caused a bit of cabin fever is teaching us all to let go and surrender to Bali time. It’s ok not to always have a plan or even the slightest idea of how we will spend the day.

The deep practice of gratitude, praise and prayer is something that is deeply touching my heart. The careful detail that is put into creating the daily offerings or Canang Sari as the locals call it is stirring all kinds of emotions. Here we learn to live with our hearts wide open, to measure time by the offerings that have been carefully placed at our feet, the temples and homes. Here we surrender to the seasons and the churning of the tides.  

Yes, Bali you’ve captured us.

The smell of heavy moist air mixed with sweet perfume, spices and steamed fish… wandering the streets and exploring the neighborhoods of Singapore is all that and more.

Whoa, I mean talking about packing it all into just two days.

My first impression of Singapore, the greenest Asian State/Country was very clean. I mean clean!

We stayed on Sentosa Island at the Festive Hotel, which was perfect for kid friendly travel including family suites with bunk beds, lots of pool space and a water park. The staff was super accommodating, especially after Expedia booked us into the wrong room. Hotel rooms are simply not the same as what we are used to in North America.

Sentosa itself is a man made, picture perfect and heavily entertaining Island just outside Downtown Singapore.                                                        We are talking Casino, Hotels, high end designer shops, tropical beaches, mega attractions like Universal Studios , Adventure Cove Waterpark, Dolphin Island, KidZania Adventure Park and so so much more. 

You really can’t get bored here….which I have to say didn’t like that much. Yes it’s 24/7 entertainment, but it’s also really expensive and quite a lot to take in.

We kept it rather simple knowing that we only had two full days. 

Having said that it’s also scorching hot and humid, which means building in cooling down time is a must with smaller kids.

I really enjoyed little India and would highly recommend going on a hop on/hop off sightseeing bus to get a good overview about what Singapore is all about.

We took the Hippo City tour which allowed us to travel on up to 7 routes all around the city and Sentosa.

Orchard Road being Asias most famous shopping street and therefore a must see for lots, I would prefer spending a day at the Botanic Gardens anytime.
Food, oy vey! Food courts are reinvented in Singapore. If you are looking for clean, inexpensive and great food skip the restaurants and go straight to the food courts. 

Singapore is known for them!

Being vegetarian and trying to eat clean and Gluten-Free as much as possible has proven to be a bit challenging here.

We stuck to simple dishes like Pad Se Ew and Nasi Goreng dishes with veggies and tofu.

Well, happy journeys everyone. We are off to Bali tomorrow.

xoxo

Oh, before I forget, here are some fun facts about Singapore 

1. Singapore is conquering Asia sand by sand….literally. Singapore has been accused of buying too much sand from Malaysia, Cambodia and Vietnam. It led to several protests and blockades on sand trade after countries found chunks of their land being shipped off to Singapore.
2. Singapore has its national tree planting day on 7th November every year. Everyone from the Prime Minister to foreign diplomats to ordinary citizens’ plant trees on this day. 

3.  In Singapore, stop chewing your gum if you see the police. Or simply don’t carry one. Currently, it is banned except without medical prescription.

4. Caning is actually still a legal form of punishment in Singapore. If you are caught vandalizing the tropical paradise, you won’t be able to sit properly for a few weeks.
5. Car lovers are almost broke in Singapore. Car use is heavily discouraged by the government and car owners have to pay additional 1.5 times the car price to get their car certified.
6.  Elevators in Singapore have Urine Detection Device, and if it detects the smell of kidney filtered water, it locks the doors until the police arrive. Singapore has passed a very specific law which prohibits urinating in the elevators. Whoa…what?!

7.  It’s a crime to not flush the public toilet after use in Singapore.

8. Though Singapore is a city state, it consists of 63 smaller islands.

9. You have heard about the legendary mermaid but did you know that the national icon of Singapore is The Merlion, a creature that is half lion and half fish.

10.  Every school kid in Singapore knows the legend of Sang Nila Utama, the price who founded the Kingdom of Singapura, in 1299. In an almost similar ending to Hollywood flick, “Life of Pie”, the price braved stormy sea to reach the island, where he had a vision of a lion.
11. Singapore has an amazing thrill ride called the Megazip or the Flying bat, of Sentosa Islands. It lets people experience life through the eyes of a flying bat.
12. Singapore is one of the only three surviving city-states in the world. The other two are Monaco and Vatican City.

13. Size doesn’t matter. The city-state which ranks at 190th in terms of size, ranks number one in terms of the salary it gives to its head of State. The Prime Minister of Singapore earns a whopping $1.7 million annually, which is four times higher than what the US president earns.

14. Singapore has invented food courts before it was cool. The hawker chefs of Singapore are notoriously famous for churning out world-class cuisines. They all converge on few spots which have become food hubs.

15. Singapore was long ago attacked by hordes of swordfish. A young boy worked out a brilliant plan to trap them but was killed by the king who feared his intelligence. Legend has it that the red color of the region’s soil is due to the young boy’s blood.
16.Singapore loves to enjoy good food. Every day two new restaurants are opened in Singapore. A rare feat, given its size.
17. Just the name “Garden City” didn’t satisfy Singapore’s high ambitions. The government plans to transform Singapore into a “City in a Garden”. The conclusion? Garden > City, in Singapore.
18.The diversity of Singapore made Singlish, a colloquial Singaporean English, the de-facto language of the state.