There is a great need of that human psyche of ours and that sits and breathes and lives with the need to evolve and to literally become more.

But…how do we grow? How do we live in a world that’s so poisoned and betrayed and not numb ourselves in order to stop feeling the pain?

How do we measure our own life against that of a third world child starving?

Where do we begin?

Life evolves us, if we want it or not.

The question is: What do we do to stifle it or turn our back to the evident mechanism of being human and being in form and constantly shifting within that frame?

Our society gives us a free pass on how to NOT deal with our pain and shadow.

Shadow happens always when growth happens. Before we take another leap and enter a growth spurt, we have to go through the dark night of the soul and face our shadows.

We are asked to use all of our senses to fully embody this painful and spirit tethering lesson. To feel, smell, taste, touch our experience with our full attention.

So, since that brings up big ouchies and our conditioning mixed with the community we were raised in and the culture we grow up with lets us to believe that we simply can not.

We go on to meditate, build a practice, a daily routine, join a sangha, even make it our life’s mission to be spiritually attuned…..to avoid.

To avoid and escape the painful reality of beingness. Because being human is painful!

Ayahuaska has become such a popular choice. The sacred plant that takes all of our troubles, traumas, interrelational issues and pain away while we are in an altered state or so we hope.

But…”I just want to be enlightened!” “I want to be free and be positive and happy and….”

Well, it simply ain’t like that. With the light comes the shadow. Stars can only shine in darkness and if we wish to grow we might as well embrace the darkness that comes before the light.

There is great liberation that comes with surrender to this universal truth.


Mediation practice and any other spiritual practice is needed and an intricate part of living, as long as it helps us instill mindfulness where it is hard for us to be mindful. It shows is how to trust ourselves and reduce reactivity. It helps us not to escape, but yet to go in and feel and sit with that feeling.

Yet, the really hard stuff doesn’t show up during meditation. It shows up in our relationships. Bam!

How we are in the world and with our loved ones, how we grieve and how we are when we are alone, how we manage stress and even elation. How we manipulate our own path because of the pain, grief and sorrow that hasn’t been expressed and heard.

If it has simply been observed or witnessed and therefore disassociated from, the pain and trauma live on within us. They have nowhere to go but inside, forming our personalities and characters and stopping us from living and breathing life in full bloom. Constantly reliving the imprint of our conditioning and unheard and felt trauma.

Life asks us to send our meditative awareness back into our relationship matrix. Everyday and in every way we interact with ourselves and the world around us.

Here we stop numbing through our meditative state of non-thinking and start to fully embody the richness of the lesson and begin to sense all corners of the threshold. We ground our senses in feeling everything what wants to be felt.

There and then the pain eases, the light enters and we can heal the wounds of separation and our unloved parts can grow to be whole again.

Our hearts open, our mind rests and on we go releasing the traumatic imprint.

Yay to being here now and living during these tremendously volatile times.

To open our hearts and soften to the ebb and flow of this beautiful existence.
Namaste

Nicole

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